Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
