saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize