You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
