1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
