i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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