these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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