3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
