Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
