sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
