Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
