so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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