I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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