i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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