I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
