friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
