I forgot how hot balto sounded
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
