He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
