well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
