There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
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