i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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