i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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