is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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