It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
