i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
