ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
