I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Success! We fucked roommates!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
