garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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