dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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