omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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