I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize