she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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