READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
