If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
