think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
