I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
