no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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