i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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