I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Too much gin, very little bucket
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
