East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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