she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
