Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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