Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
