he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
