So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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