some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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