my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
