there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
