quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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