Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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