After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
