After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize