Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
