apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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