I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize