We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
