We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I need moral support for this bender
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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