oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
