You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
