i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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