I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
