barbara walters just said penis...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
