you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
