very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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