I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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