Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I could make wine with my vomit
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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