I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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