i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
