just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
