The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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