lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
