My room smells like vodka and shame
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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