Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize