after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
